To My Dearest Stranger
Before I begin, I simply wish to let you know that this is not a poetic piece or endearing prose, this is an honest to God cry to you, the last bugle before the ship sails, the final warning before the hurricane, the only visible finger of a drowning person before they submerge.
As I write this, un-shed tears form a trail down the dusty terrain of my heart, and stray cannon balls ricochet around the empty space inside me that was your abode. What do I say to you? Sorry? Forgive me? Please speak to me? Tell me my sins? What exactly?! What do I tell you when I can hardly reach you.....when the lines of communication are severed so badly ants can't even use them as a trip line. Where did I go wrong? Even if you hate me, why don't you tell me? Tell me! Shout it out from the top of the empire building...throw a pie in my face...tip me off from Mount Kilimanjaro...but please....please, oh please, I beseech you, stop killing me with silence. Each empty echo is a day taken off my life, each silent stare is a plunge into my heart...like Macbeth plunged into the warm body of King Duncan. Be that your intention? To murder me with your silence? If it is.....your dream is almost a reality.
From sharing our innermost intimacies to a frosty silence so cold the Arctic quakes in it's presence. In a matter of 24 hours, a friend became a fiend. I have gone over that period so many times that my footprints are hardly cleared from its sands before a new set appears. What did I do to incur your displeasure? What fatal decision did I take to break a bond so strong? I don't understand it...and my pleas to you to help me, have gone unanswered.
Please forgive me, for the sorrows that I may have caused you, for the errors that I committed. I apologize if my actions in anyway hurt you. Though I know not what caused your grievance, I accept total responsibility.
I am empty. I know not what else to say to you. Do I kneel? Prostrate? Wear inward facing metal spikes? Would that make it better? I don't know anymore...I honestly don't know. I'm paying a price for a cost I know not how I incurred.
I'm so drained.....I can't even collate my thoughts properly enough to end this, but I know it must end. I have rambled on, like a rabies infested mad man. My only wish? My only wish is that you read this...read it for all it's worth... Ha! I'm not crazy enough to imagine that this will get to you. In fact, you might never see this. It's okay though, at least I know it's out there, and maybe someday, someone might read it to you...or not.
Whatever happens, I bid you a good life my dearest stranger.
As I write this, un-shed tears form a trail down the dusty terrain of my heart, and stray cannon balls ricochet around the empty space inside me that was your abode. What do I say to you? Sorry? Forgive me? Please speak to me? Tell me my sins? What exactly?! What do I tell you when I can hardly reach you.....when the lines of communication are severed so badly ants can't even use them as a trip line. Where did I go wrong? Even if you hate me, why don't you tell me? Tell me! Shout it out from the top of the empire building...throw a pie in my face...tip me off from Mount Kilimanjaro...but please....please, oh please, I beseech you, stop killing me with silence. Each empty echo is a day taken off my life, each silent stare is a plunge into my heart...like Macbeth plunged into the warm body of King Duncan. Be that your intention? To murder me with your silence? If it is.....your dream is almost a reality.
From sharing our innermost intimacies to a frosty silence so cold the Arctic quakes in it's presence. In a matter of 24 hours, a friend became a fiend. I have gone over that period so many times that my footprints are hardly cleared from its sands before a new set appears. What did I do to incur your displeasure? What fatal decision did I take to break a bond so strong? I don't understand it...and my pleas to you to help me, have gone unanswered.
Please forgive me, for the sorrows that I may have caused you, for the errors that I committed. I apologize if my actions in anyway hurt you. Though I know not what caused your grievance, I accept total responsibility.
I am empty. I know not what else to say to you. Do I kneel? Prostrate? Wear inward facing metal spikes? Would that make it better? I don't know anymore...I honestly don't know. I'm paying a price for a cost I know not how I incurred.
I'm so drained.....I can't even collate my thoughts properly enough to end this, but I know it must end. I have rambled on, like a rabies infested mad man. My only wish? My only wish is that you read this...read it for all it's worth... Ha! I'm not crazy enough to imagine that this will get to you. In fact, you might never see this. It's okay though, at least I know it's out there, and maybe someday, someone might read it to you...or not.
Whatever happens, I bid you a good life my dearest stranger.
'Sometimes ''sorry'' doesnt mean, you are wrong . . . . it just means you treasure your relationship much more' - Unknown.
ReplyDeleteI wish the guru that said that was a known figure, for I wish to inquire what to do when a mirage is more tangible than said relationship. Do you still try to salvage it...or simply let it disappear like the illusion it is?
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