Your biggest fan

So usually I try not to make my posts really personal, but I just have to let this out somewhere (mostly cause I know the person I'm talking about will never read this :P )

Just a handful of people truly believed in your dream, I was up there with the best of them. Actually, I like to believe I was your biggest fan. I was your soundboard for any idea you wished to make a reality. When times got hard, I dragged you through the mud. When your head was on your chest from pain, I pushed your head back up and kissed a smile onto your face. People knew not to put you down when I was around, cause I'd roar like a lioness whose cub is being attacked. I was protective of you, I loved you, and I wanted you to be happy. I put you first, I truly did. Sometimes you wished to take a break, even stop completely, but I whipped you back into form, cause I knew that to slow down was to dig a pit for yourself. I didn't care if people didn't think anything would come from you expressing yourself through art, I saw a lion amongst kittens. One day, you would take the land by storm, and shine as the true leader of the pride, and everyone would finally recognize you like they should.

But, I needed you to believe in me too.

Oh yes, you spurred me on when I was down sometimes. And you didn't join the rest in mocking me for not being 'normal'. However, you didn't believe when it mattered the most. Thinking about it still hurts me, as trivial as it may seem.

"Are you stupid?....how can you say you stand in the middle of the room and pretend to be a carrot" That was all you had to say to me when I tentatively unveiled the little dream I had. I don't mind criticism, but coming from you, it hurt. It hurt more because that was all you said. You didn't read the posts, you didn't bolster me on, you didn't add a 'but' to that statement. With one sentence, you crashed my dream into pieces. You probably didn't think it meant anything, but then that would mean you don't know how much you affect me. In retrospect though, you had to know. You know how much I love to write, and this dream would allow me to share my thoughts with the world. It's ok though, cause I picked up the pieces and carried on. The dream is alive today, a little battered, but it's ok. It's a good thing I did not throw the pieces in a trash, else I wouldn't have this blog today.

Am I still your biggest fan? I think so, after all, I never stopped caring about you. I remember you sending me Your biggest fan by Nick Jonas, and you said it represented your feelings for me.............I only wish it were true.