Snap your fingers

I always like to think that I'm an independent, black woman............ :D Oh please, there's no such thing. what I actually mean is, I like to believe that I'm no slave to my emotions. That I'm a rational young lady who follows the rules of rationality.

Then again, who are we to define the rules of rationality. What man can claim that he has never given in to that insane urge to do something, not because it's good for you, but just because you want to. Let the first man to claim that pedestal be the first to cast the stone. Then again, that's the topic for another blog.

Just sometimes though, I wish I was able to win them over to my brain's side for a few hours. So you can't control me....yes you. How can you control me? Simple, by being able to play with my desires. I want to talk to you so bad that I stay up into the break of dawn, I hang on to your every word. Even when you push me away on to the ground each time, I dust my knees off and wait for you to beckon again.

Stupid right? Yeah well, I know that too. But damn it! I just want to matter to you as much as you matter to me. I know all the right words, I know how to tell them to other people, but not to myself.

So until I can find my way out of this rut, I guess I'm going to sit here...and wait for you to snap your fingers....