Mirrors never lie

You want to know why I have no mirrors?

Because each time I look into one,

I see the girl I don't want to be,

The one who has folds where a flat stomach should be,

The one who has a double chin instead of a straight jawline,

The one who has thick thighs with no thigh gap,

The one with disproportionate calves,

The one with arms that droop where hard muscle should be,

Sometimes I try to make her smile back at me,

But when she tries to smile back,

Her cheeks pull the smile back down,

So eventually she turns away,

Each time I look in the mirror,

She stares back at me sorrowfully,

Begging me to help her,

Begging me to set her free.

You want to know why I sit in the bathroom and cry?

Because I'm too ashamed to let anyone see my tears,

I feel guilty for I have so many things I should be thankful for,

But I seem to lack the one thing everyone demands of me,

"Why aren't you as slim as your sister?"

"Shouldn't you be watching your weight?",

Every eye stares at my plate as I walk by,

I smile the hurt away but inside the tears wait for release,

So I wait till everyone's gone, 

Then I turn up the music,

I lock the bathroom door and let the tears flow free,

Eventually the tears trickle to a stop,

And I think of the hours spent at the gym,

Trying so hard to free the girl in the mirror,

But if their words are to be believed,

I'll never get her to smile back at me.