River of Thoughts

In my head, there’s a river of thoughts,
Sometimes the current is strong,
But most times it flows undisturbed,
A gentle caress on the land,
It meanders forth into an unknown destination,
Carrying along with it cases of my thoughts,
While I sit down and look on,
I like to think they’re brilliant thoughts,
Filled with marvellous words, beautiful pictures, stirring songs,
Maybe even a sonnet or two, or was that a haunting haiku,
I don’t know, cause I rarely open them,
I simply watch them as they float on by,
It’s easier to drown the cases,
Than reach in for them,
After all, what good will that do,
Opening them up presents me with my fears,
Soft and pliable, hard and unforgiving,
Worse than a lifetime on the flying Dutchman,
Worse even than sparring off with the Devil,
Seeing my lifetime in little compact cases,
Reading through the detailed changes in my life,
In my thoughts, in my ideologies, in my faith,
Counting the many tears I’ve shed,
Taping on the shreds of my heart long forgotten,
Watching the memories of the past resurface,
Like I said before, what good is that,
It’s too much energy, too painful to try,
So I’ll simply stay here and watch them float by,
And dream of what a great writer I could have been.