So Random (And no, this post is not about the show)

You know when you've got an upset
stomach, and you've really got to
take a dump, and it's the kind that
makes really loud 'plops' when it gets
into the toilet, and it stinks like
rotten fish and spoilt beans? Well
yeah, that's what's happening to me
right now, and my face kind of looks
like this.
----------------------------------------->
Cause I'm trying really hard to hold
 it in while this random chick who
walked in here to take a wizz at
first, has decided to remain here for
what seems like an eternity,
and reapply her whole makeup (from
foundation to blusher), blow dry her
hair (?), and rearrange her clothes,
or at least I think that's what she's
been doing out there for ages now. I
mean, come on!!! There's only so
much a girl can take before..... Oh
crap. It dropped, and I just heard her
freeze in her tracks, and go silent for
a full minute. Is she trying to hear
more?! Oh no... It's coming. The full
parade is unleashing itself, and my oh
my is it coming with full force. I can't
help myself from smiling like an idiot
as I imagine her face as she listens to
the tirade (oh yes, I mean tirade.
Cause my shank was angry for being
held in for so long). She rushes out,
probably to go regale her friends with
the tale of the girl taking a dump in
the pristine school toilet. It's been 21
minutes since I rushed in here to
avoid publicly embarrassing myself
with the aggressive grunting sounds
my stomach was making, and the
attack is finally over. I can't seem to
leave though. It's like I'm stuck here,
an embarrassing witness to my
indoor spectacle. *sigh* If I didn't
have a lecture in about 36 minutes,
I'd spend the rest of the day in here,
but I do, so I've got to woman up (yes,
I know the correct terminology is
man up, but I'm not a guy, so bite me),
and make my sweet escape. Damn
my bodily functions. They have no
sense of when the opportune time is
to go off in all directions. Like a Diva,
they demand attention, and like a
crazed fan girl, I must obey.
This is random thoughts, signing out.

Comments

  1. Kay7 October 2012 at 19:27

    ROTFL!!!! THIS IS GENIUSLY HILARIOUS!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lorenjia8 October 2012 at 18:39

      Yay! Glad someone finds this embarrassing story amusing. :D

      Delete
  2. Tawanda Moyo7 October 2012 at 19:45

    Lol, Reminds me of one of the American Pie movies where Finch- should be him- did it loudly in a (girls') toilet and a group gathered outside to see who it was .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lorenjia8 October 2012 at 18:40

      I think I remember what you're referring to, and I can so relate to how he felt in that situation.

      Delete
  3. Tammy Enai Gede8 October 2012 at 00:08

    Gawsh graphic much!! i feel more sorry for the girl that had to listen to the sounds of battleship and the toilet for its resilience. :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lorenjia8 October 2012 at 18:41

      Pssssh. You should feel sorry for me instead, nearly ruptured my stomach muscles while trying to hold that baby in. Besides, you shouldn't be talking. ;)

      Delete

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