Random Thoughts

About a week and a half ago, I received an outrageous proposition from a 'friend'. I was lounging about in my room, chatting with people on Skype, and out pops a chat notification from an old friend. Naturally I'm curious as to what they have to say. So, we're chatting and suddenly he drops a bomb on me. Like literally, this was my reaction to what he had to tell me. http://reactiongifs.com/?p=16318 So, I'm hoping he's kidding around and not serious, but he is. I forgot all about it after that day though, but he comes again today and says the same thing to me. To make it worse, he added something that was quite unsettling.  I don't even know where to begin to describe my disgust, anger, hurt, shame, at what happened. I am ashamed to think that I might have ever acted in a way that would suggest to someone that I would be comfortable being the inspiration for a masturbation session. Yes ladies and gentlemen, you heard me right. My 'friend' aske...

It's 18:36 GMT, and I'm running low on pads and drugs. Scratch that, I'm all out of drugs. It hurts so much, like enraged tigers with anger issues clawing through your uterus. "Why me", I think, as I clutch the duvet tight, praying that the pain will mercifully knock me out. Alas, Aunt Flow proves a cruel master as the spasms send me to my knees. Like a tease, the pain goes for a minute, and just when relief is about to come, it bangs into me with the force of a hurricane. Temptingly, I consider crawling out to the hallway and rolling myself down the stairs, but that would only leave me with broken bones and more pain. You know what would be nice right about now? A syringe filled with a coma-inducing drug. I can just see the needle plunging, liquid coursing through my veins, and merciful sleep claiming me. After a week, the effects of the drug would wear off, and I'd wake up in a pool of my own blood. So many sensations swimming in my body, and none of them ...

Raven black hair that curls at the nape, Lips so soft they could cradle a babe, Lashes that feather rosy cheeks, Eyes that hold a twisted maze, Arms so strong Hercules hides in shame, Skin so supple Aphrodite quivers with rage, But behind the brick wall , Lies a broken and jagged soul, The cracks made wide by his shame, The pain just as strong as his guilt, Hidden in his laugh...a silent cry, Under his bravado...a scared child, I was drawn by his jokes, Got anchored by the pain, Through the chink in your armour, I saw the vulnerability within, I want to be the balm for your wounds, The salve that drives the hurt away, I want to be the reason the guilt fades away, And joy leaks into the well of your heart, Even if only for a while, I want to be the reason you smile.