Random Thoughts

It's been a while since I've felt like this, but it's all so familiar. The denial, the pain, and then the sweet sweet numbness. I try to rush through it a bit, jump straight from denial to being numb. Unlike before, the words to describe it are not forthcoming. But all I know it that I have to type, I have to pour it out. If it stays in...well, I don't know...I don't think it'll do my heart any good. In the grand scheme of things it seems like such a petty problem. Tears won't really help either, would they? :D What a silly little thing I am. No matter! I'll just have to keep a stiff upper lip and carry on. No need being down over something I have no control over. I expected this to happen anyway. Yet, it still hurts. 

It's midnight and once more, I'm blogging instead of sleeping. But how can I sleep, when in less than 12 hours I will be baptised as one of Jehovah's Witnesses 😆 I am nervous 😯, excited😃, and sad😢. I should be rolling around in joy, but my happiness is dampened by the fact that someone so special to me won't be there to share this memorable occassion with me. Oh how I miss them, but one must be cruel to be kind. N'est pas?